Kiss Me, Babe, I'm Cuban
by ChloeMcIntyre1986
Summary: Just a silly little one shot. If people like it, I may turn this universe into a series of them. Major AU.


**Okay, my muse is insane. Here is another random one shot. Also, this is majorly AU even from my other stories. Basically, Chloe and Jaime showed up in book seven just as Val came back. All of the girls decided to train, and became really good. Therefore, they became the girls of Rangeman. Also, Val never met Albert in this universe which means Lisa does not exist. That's basically all you need to know. Thanks to Jaime (ShesGotHighHopes) for editing this and putting up with me. Also to Rosaleen68 for inspiring a part of this.**

**Enjoy and oh, I don't own them except for Jaime and Chloe.**

**Kiss Me, Babe, I'm Cuban**

It was the Saturday before St. Patrick's Day, and it was time for girls' night out- girls of Rangeman style. The guys had a takedown that had been deemed 'too dangerous' for the girls to take part in so they had decided instead of getting pissed like they normally would to take advantage of a chance to have a night out without the guys there. So, at eight P.M. on March 15, 2008, a black Hummer pulled up to Sin Sin in the East Village of New York City. Out of the Hummer came Stephanie Plum, Valerie Plum, Lula Coleman, Connie Rosolli, Chloe McDuffie, and Jaime Reynolds. They were looking hot and were ready for a night of fun and freedom. They strolled right past the bouncer who just waved them in as if they owned the place which in a way they did. They made sure to come anytime they were in town, and the staff loved them. The girls made a beeline for the bar and immediately bellied up to it. Ryan, the club's 20-something bartender, smiled winningly and said, "What can I get you ladies this evening? The usual?"

Everyone nodded their consent except for Val who said, "Ryan, can I just get water? No drinks for me tonight."

Ryan looked concerned as he said, "What's wrong? Are you sick?"

Val shook her head, "I'm fine. Well, I'll be even better in about seven months."

"What?"

Val laughed at his confusion and slid back from the bar a bit so he could see her slightly rounded belly. He looked shocked for a moment before he told her congratulations. He then went to fix the girls' their drinks. About five minutes later, he brought the drinks back to the girls. Water for Val, margaritas for Lula and Connie, raspberry martinis for Chloe and Jaime, and a Yuengling for Stephanie. The girls sat for a few minutes just drinking and catching up on gossip. 'U and Ur Hand' by Pink was playing, and began to feel appropriate as various guys began to periodically walk by to hit on one of the girls. Most of the guys were easy enough to get rid of with a polite utter of not interested until a guy who was obviously a young professional took an interest in Val, and despite her polite refusals would not take no for an answer. Finally, the girls made it to the bathroom in order to figure out how to get this man to stop hitting on Val.

Lula, of course, came up with the most brilliant idea as she whipped out her cell phone to dial Tank since the boys should be done with the takedown. Val saw what she was about to do and panicked swiping the phone just as Lula was about to dial. Lula looked at her and said, "Girl, I was about to call Tank so the boys would come protect us from creepy guys. Why would you stop me?"

Val gave her best eye roll saying, "One, this is GIRLS' NIGHT and two, if they come Cal will kill that guy. I so do not want a murder on my conscience." 

Steph couldn't help herself; she had to laugh at Val's remark. Hearing her sister's laugh, Val turned and glared at her. Steph just smiled and said, "Lula, please do not call them. Val is right, this is girls' night. Val, calm down. It's not that big of deal. Breathe. Now, let's go dance our asses off!"

With that, the girls left the restroom. They could not have timed their exit better. The D.J. had apparently found himself in an eighties mood as Def Leppard's 'Pour Some Sugar on Me' was just starting to play. The rest of the girls began to laugh as Jaime and Chloe squealed and ran to the nearest dance cage to get their groove on. Connie, Steph, Lula, and Val decided to just dance where they were. Jaime and Chloe were gaining an appreciative male audience and a jealous female one as the song transitioned into Warrant's 'Cherry Pie.' They weren't doing anything sluttish like making out with each other or groping each other, but they were definitely having the type of fun that girls have when they go out together. The other girls couldn't help, but laugh at the commotion their friends were causing when they heard behind them two familiar male voices say, "Damn."

They turned around and saw the Bobby and Lester watching Jaime and Chloe in awe. A few feet behind them were Ranger, Tank, Hal, and Cal. Lula squealed when she saw Tank, and she ran into his open arms for a hug. Hal and Ranger just smirked at Connie and Stephanie while Valerie glared at Cal. When he realized she was glaring at him, he reached out and pulled her toward him saying, "Not happy to see me, beautiful?"

Val sighed as she slowly sank into his embrace saying as she did, "No, I am, but you guys crashed girls' night."

He laughed as she eased out of his arms saying, "I'm sorry, but Hal apparently had something important to say to Connie that couldn't wait."

They looked over at Hal and Connie who were dancing and not paying attention to anyone but each other. Valerie smiled at him, and said, "He's going to propose, isn't he?"

Cal laughed, "Yep. He's so nervous; he almost messed up the takedown."

Valerie smiled and looked around to their other friends. Lula and Tank were being themselves and making out like crazy on the dance floor. Ranger had Steph cradled in his arms, her back to his front, and they were swaying to the music. They looked like there was no place they rather be then right where they were. Val smiled at how cute they were before turning to her husband and saying, "When are those two going to figure out they were made for each other?"

Cal shrugged saying, "Your guess is as good as mine."

Just then, there were loud squeals, and Valerie turned to see what was going on. She immediately saw what had happened; Lester and Bobby had surprised Chloe and Jaime in the dance cage, and now both couples were dancing, but now with jealous people of both sexes watching. Before anything more interesting could happen, they spotted Hal walking up to the D.J. and conversing quietly with him. Connie walked up to them looking suspicious as she asked Cal, "What is he up to?"

Cal smirked at her, "I have no idea what you are talking about."

Connie snorted at him as the rest of their friends joined them saying, "I don't believe you."

Before they could discuss things any further, the D.J. ended the current song, and picked up his microphone, "Alright ladies and gents, I hate to interrupt the fun, but I have a man here who wants to sing a song for very special lady."

Connie put her head in her hands and groaned, "I am going to slowly kill him."

Before she could issue any more threats or bring up 'The Family', the D.J. announced, "Could Connie Rosolli please join us on stage?"

Connie promptly turned bright red as the other girls pushed her towards the stage, and the guys just watched with shit-eating grins on their face. She had finally been moved so she was right at the front of the stage when Hal leaned down, grabbed her hand, and pulled her onto the stage. He then ushered her onto a stool where she sat glaring at him. He winked at her, and then faced the crowd addressing them, "Hey everyone. Sorry to interrupt, but this is really important."

Connie yelled from behind him, "It damn well better be, this is embarrassing."

Hal turned to smile at her and said, "Of course it is. That's part of the fun."

The audience laughed when she muttered 'asshole' at him. However, the glare she was sporting turned to shock as the opening notes of Elliott Yamin's 'I'm The Man' began to play. Her shock deepened when Hal began to sing to her in a surprisingly good voice. The girls started cheering already thinking they knew where this was going.

_When I woke up with the sunlight and dreams echoing through my head  
And I heard you breathing softly I remembered the things you said  
There is no time, there is no place  
That you would rather be  
That the good times or hard times as long as you're here with me_

Connie felt her eyes begin to water as Hal turned to her singing with all he had. She knew that this was a moment she wasn't likely to forget any time soon.

_Cause I'm the man who holds my ground  
I'm the man who sticks around  
I'm the man to hold you tight  
I'm the man in love with you (with you)  
When I lay down and the moon is bright at the end of a working day  
Got a feeling I believe it and I won't let it slip away  
There is no time, there is no place  
That you would rather be  
In the cruel world on a cold night as long you're here with me_

Now, Connie knew there was going to be nothing to stop her tears. The tears got even worse when he kneeled in front her and took her hand in his. He was acting as if they were the only two people in the room despite the fact that they were surrounded by hundreds of club goers. 

_I'm the man who holds my ground  
I'm the man who sticks around  
I'm the man to hold you tight  
Cause I'm the man in love  
And I'm the man to make it right  
And I'm the man you kiss goodnight  
I'm the man who won't let you down  
Cause I'm the man in love with you (with you)  
'Cause it can't get much better  
And all we have is time  
As long as we're together  
I know it's gonna be alright  
Cause I'm the man who holds my ground  
I'm the man who sticks around  
I'm the man to hold you tight  
Cause I'm the man in love with you  
And I'm the man to make it right  
And I'm the man you kiss goodnight  
I'm the man who won't let you down  
Cause I'm the man in love with you  
With you  
With you  
In love with you_

Connie smiled at Hal as the song ended. When it did, he smiled at her from his spot kneeled in front of her while he pulled out a small black box, and then opened the box so she could see what it held. She gasped as she took in the beautiful princess cut diamond ring he was holding out to her. He looked into her eyes saying, "Connie, will you please do me the honor of being my wife?"

The tears were coming full stop now as she launched herself at him knocking him over as she yelled, "Yes!"

He smiled at her as they shared a sweet and passionate kiss.

_Forty-five minutes later…_

Hal and Connie were still receiving well wishes from random club goers when things started getting interesting. They were all plotting how to get Steph and Ranger to admit their feelings when Valerie's unwanted suitor turned up again while Cal was in the bathroom. He must have had too much liquid courage because he did not even ask, just pulled her onto the dance floor. She struggled with him trying to get loose, but he was stronger than her and would not relent so she decided to just dance instead of fighting him. However, Cal did not like this at all when he came out of the bathroom. Normally, seeing her dance with another guy would not get him ruffled in the slightest, but this guy was definitely groping her, and she was struggling to get away. Pulling on his best Rangeman intimidating look, he walked over to them. Cal put a comforting hand on Valerie's shoulder to reassure her, and it seemed to work. Cal looked at the guy and said, "Hi, I'd like my wife back now."

The guy must have been really, really drunk because even the sight of Cal with his flaming skull tattoo did not deter his lust for Valerie. He started to take a swing at Cal who managed to grab the man's fist in his hand before he managed to make contact. Cal growled at him saying, "I said I'd like my wife back. Now, go away before I make you sorry."

The guy took another swing, but then Cal grabbed him and threw him out of the club. Cal came back to see Valerie pretending to swoon at him as she said, "My hero!"

He laughed as they rejoined their friends before they all headed out to a small all night diner to eat. They were seated in the diner eating their food just laughing and having a good time. Suddenly the jukebox began to play Danielle Peck's 'Isn't That Everything.' The girls (with the exception of Steph who lost her nerve) pulled their boyfriends, husbands or fiancés up to dance with them. Then Ranger looked at her said, "I'm feeling left out. Dance with me, Babe."

With that, he pulled her out of his seat and into his arms. She smiled and said, "How did the takedown go?"

He gave her his almost smile, "I don't want to talk business while I'm experiencing pleasure."

She blushed. He smiled and said, "Are we ever going to talk about that night?"

She glared slightly at him, "You tried to send me back to Morelli."

"You obviously did not listen, Babe."

"Well, of course I didn't. Joe's an asshole."

"Is there another reason you didn't, Babe?"

"Maybe…"

"Care to elaborate?"

"BecauseIloveyou," she rushed out as if it was one word.

"What?"

"Because I love you, you idiot! Don't give me the crap about your life not lending itself to relationships. All your men have relationships so that's bullshit."

The rest of their friends had heard Steph's declaration and were watching with interest. Ranger looked stunned for a second before saying, "You're right, Babe, as always. I love you. Kiss me, Babe, I'm Cuban."

She giggled before doing just that. The kiss quickly turned passionate, and they were unaware of their friends exclaiming 'Finally!'

**The End!**

**I love you guys, now PLEASE REVIEW!**


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